Was the Season 6 Premiere the Most Boring Episode of True Blood Ever?

Full disclosure, True Blood and I haven’t always been on the best of terms. I loved season one, but by the time I started recapping the show for GEEKPR0N in season 4 things had changed. Most of my enjoyment came from laughing at the show from the outside, often incredulous at the crazy shit the characters were going to be put through next. For that to work,  there needs to be some level of investment in the characters and story. I watched last season on and off, and after being interrupted about 3/4 into the finale it literally took me 8 months to go back and finish, I just cared so much about what happened.

So – was this the most boring episode of True Blood yet? At the very least the most boring season premiere?  I could say nothing happened but that would only be half a lie. There were plenty of developments but nothing seemed to carry any weight or matter really.

You might be wondering why I watch the season 6 premiere in the first place, and that’s a good question, and one I’m still trying to figure out. It’s probably partially because I was curious what the Bill-Bloodmonster would become (later, wonderfully dubbed Billeth because even now, Pam can still do no wrong), because I still follow True Blood on Facebook and Twitter and I’m easily influenced, and my stupid curiosity wondering – if maybe the show will turn around and make me care again – hey, it’s happened before.

Well I got my answer – absolutely fuckin’ nothing happened and nothing is new.

What excited me most about the season 5 finale was how the show seemingly blew itself up when Bill exploded into a pile of goop after a serious bout of Lilith induced vampire crazy and rose again as some kind of hellacious beast. That’s something I could work with. Instead, Billeth the Vampire-Blood-Beast quickly morphs back into sad mopey vamp-daddy Bill pining after Sookie and having all the guilt – just with a few extra powers, real crazy shit like preventing Jessica’s dinner from spilling on his nice carpet with his mind…or something.

Eric is still in love with Sookie and emotionally abusive to Pam. Pam is still in love with Eric and emotionally abusive to Tara (girl just can’t catch a break). Bill and Eric have vamp-man-offs. Everyone cries a bunch.

Other than that – some werewolves make-out naked in the woods and Andy, Terry and Arlene talk about baby wipes (whoever told these writers that adding babies to a TV show is a good idea is just plain cruel) and poor stupid Jason catches a lift with the big evil vampire who killed his parents, but whatever.

Here’s the thing, technically there were developments, Bill with the weird Lilith powers, Pam and Tara taken by the government, some shady new Mayor with a True Blood thing, and Andy’s magical Fairy babies are growing up  fast. But here’s the deal – there are less stakes than ever and therefore, none of this wacky shit means a damn thing.

For a show that used to wonderfully mash together camp, suspense, horror and contemporary social commentary within it’s batshit world nothing seems to matter anymore.  It’s lazy moments like the anvillicous scene where tables are turned on Andy and he experiences the consequences of unprotected sex that are often reserved for women (I guess?) and then is given a lecture from Arlene about parenthood, that just don’t land. It’s nothing compared to satire of homophobia and racism that were clear and present overtones of the first few seasons. It wasn’t always subtle but who needs that – it was expertly delivered and blended into an intriguing story that involved characters that we at least cared about a little bit.

The shock value of weird shit happening at break neck speed (and maybe a little slower now) has seriously worn off when the stakes are gone.

One last thing – 100% truth, the show could do anything and I doubt I will ever stop loving Pam, she always knows the right thing to say.

What did you think of the season premiere? Surprised that things are so close back to normal after the season finale that blew things up? Love it, hate it, even still watching it?