The Undiscovered Time Lord… DISCOVERED!

Friends! Lovers! Those of you yet to be either!

I have uncovered it! A great secret in fiction! One buried in plain sight and today I will share it with all of you.

You’re welcome!

As we all know, the Doctor is the most famous Time Lord of all fiction. But I asked myself, what if there was another Time Lord out there? One hiding in plain sight for almost as long as the Doctor has existed?

Then I replied that I was just really spinning random crap out of nothing. But I rebutted by pointing out that Game Theory basically does that shit all the time and nobody stops them. I replied saying that was very true and then I stopped talking to myself and jumped down my little rabbit hole to find out if there was another Time Lord out there.

Now what if I told you I had found said Time Lord?

What would your answer be?

Now some of you may be skeptical of my claims but if you have an open mind and not a member of the United Nations Bureau of Mental Health you too can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

So let us begin with my discovery…

Regeneration 1: Mary Poppins

Oh we knew, we always knew. Don’t look so shocked you still image I randomly grabbed from the internet.

What else could Mary have been but a Time Lord? A talking umbrella? A bag that is literally bigger on the inside? Why that’s no bag! That’s a Tardis! You’ve all heard this song and dance! There’s bloody infograms about it!

Behold! Said Infogram!

Oh true, Walt’s film adaptation of the lady paints her in very friendly and loveable light but the original novel published in 1934 sets her as a more stern and cross woman. Not unlike a certain first regeneration of another well-known Time Lord.

You loveable scamp you!

But really it’s nothing to prove that Mary Poppins is a Time Lord. It is much more interesting however to find her regenerations!

Oh yes friends! We have multiple regenerations for this lovely woman. Now, we can’t really number them, of course, in any reasonable order because of time travel. We just need to keep an eye out for women who fit the profile: Likes teaching/ raising children, likes putting her Tardis in unusual shapes, and favours regenerating as a woman!

Regeneration 2: Loonette from the Big Comfy Couch

Oho? You think me mad do you? Mad that a Canadian Television figure from my youth might actually be a Time Lord?

Did I not mere moments ago outline our qualifiers? Likes educating children? Puts her Tardis in unusual shapes? Have you ever seen the relative plethora of items that woman pulled out of that couch? THAT SEEMS TO BE BIGGER ON THE INSIDE?

AW COME ON! She’s not even hiding it!

Here we also have the doll Molly and thus we gain a new insight into our lady Time Lord. She has a fondness for creating unusual companions much like the Doctor’s K9. First we had Mary Poppins’s talking umbrella and now we have the animate doll Molly! This could potentially be an early regeneration of our Time Lord as Molly is still unable to communicate verbally and thus is possibly an early prototype.

But oh dear friends… there are more regenerations out there!

Regeneration 3: Mrs. Frizzle

I don’t know why this Tim Lord favours so many Canadian productions. Ah well. Who could be our third regeneration but Ms. Frizzle? Here we see the height of her experimentation with her Tardis in the form of the “Magic” School Bus. Pah! Magic indeed. That’s a Time Lord Chameleon circuit at work or I’m just stretching this premise remarkably thin!

And look! Another sentient creature, this time the lizard unimaginatively named Liz. But now this one is infinitely more mobile than Molly and shows the ability to perform complex tasks meaning that her ability to create and modify life forms has improved drastically.

Again this great woman is shown educating the youth! Mayhap we should make her title “The Teacher” for all that she’s done to educate the young.

Unfortunately dear friends this is where our narrative goes sour as we go into regeneration four. Many of you may have seen the image I’m about to post below.

That’s right. There’s a theory that five of the kids from the Magic School Bus are in fact the five special young people that make up the Planeteers. But if that’s the case why is it that when these five children meet again not only do they not recognize each other, not only do they have different accents and different names… actually that’s about all of it right there.

But dear readers I have a theory that takes us into Regeneration four: Gaia.

Regeneration 4: Gaia

If you recall the very first scene where Gaia appears in the show Captain Planet she is shown waking up in a mysterious location filled with advanced technology (which we later learn is Hope Island). If we assume Gaia is the next regeneration of our female Time Lord then where is her Tardis?

Look at her home Hope Island. It’s covered in advanced technology far beyond that of even our world today. What if all of that technology is actually from the inside of her former Tardis?

As we start looking at the evidence a sad picture starts to emerge. Ms. Frizzle used and probably abused the transformation abilities of her Tardis’s Chameleon Circuit (her Magic School Bus) and as we know from Doctor Who, Chameleon Circuits are notoriously fragile as the Doctor’s broke before the first episode. Remember a Chameleon Circuit doesn’t just make a Tardis look like something; it actually alters the external dimensions of the Tardis itself. It’s possible that the Ms. Frizzle regeneration of our Time Lord actually lost control of her Tardis causing it to malfunction badly. Badly enough that she would need to land it on a deserted tropical island and disable the systems causing a good portion of the interior to break apart and fill up what we now call Hope Island.

Of course something like this would likely have injured Ms. Frizzle causing her to regenerate.

And the kids? That’s an easy explanation. When the incident happened that caused Frizzle’s Tardis to fail she managed to safely get all of her students safe before ending up on Hope Island. To anyone watching though it would have seemed like her Tardis would have detonated.

The children were then taken by their parents and given new identities. While the five students are actually American children four of the families hail from other nations except for old red haired Arnold who’s family moves him to Brooklyn. At that point the kids are still young enough to adopt new accents. When they meet up again years later they have no idea they are all former classmates.

As for Gaia? Why does she see herself as the Spirit of the Earth and not a Time Lord? Consider the nature of regeneration and regeneration sickness. It’s a common feature for regenerations that a Time Lord will suffer from memory loss. It’s possible that after regenerating our Time Lord tried to deduce who she was and in the confusion created the benevolent persona of Gaia, Spirit of the Earth. She then slept, much like how the Fifth Doctor did to ward off the effects of Regeneration.

And oddly, a lot like a supermodel…

That means that Captain Planet is another one of her constructs, however he’s so powerful that she’s kept him separate in five rings so that he can only be called upon in times of trouble. And that explains why Gaia chose these five, they were students she remembered.

And that’s our theory! Do you have your own to add to this lady Time Lord? Or is just the product of one too many late nights? Let us know in the comments.