The Return of Plan 9

The official trailer for Australian production company Darkstone Entertainment’s upcoming film Plan 9 was recently released.  Yes, Plan 9 as in a remake of Plan 9 from Outer Space.

Poster for Ed Wood’s original Plan 9 from Outer Space

I imagine most people are at least vaguely familiar with the story of the original Plan 9 from Outer Space.  Plan 9 from Outer Space was the creation (produced, written, and directed) of Ed Wood Jr.  Released in 1959, it starred pro-wrestler turned actor Tor Johnson, the original horror host Vampira (Maila Nurmi), psychic The Amazing Criswell, and Bela Lugosi in his final role.  The film is often touted as the “worst movie ever made”, but is it?

Vampira working the camera.

Don’t get me wrong.  The film is bad.  Everything you have heard about it is true.  Yes, the plot is ridiculous.  Yes, Criswell’s narration barely makes any sense.  Yes, the flying saucers look to be swinging on strings.  Yes, Lugosi died before filming began and therefore only appears in footage shot earlier and tacked awkwardly into the film.  Yes, Wood employed a stand-in for Lugosi and attempts to hide the fact by always covering his face with a vampire cape.  Yes, a bad edit attempts to hide Tor Johnson getting stuck while pulling himself from an open grave.  Yes, gravestones are clearly cardboard, toppling over whenever the actors even brush against them.  Yes, most of the cast can’t act.  Yes, there are more continuity and production errors than you can possibly imagine.

Wait.  Where was I going with this?

Lugosi’s stand-in completely failing as a stand-in for Lugosi.

Worst film ever is a pretty heavy mantle to carry.  Despite all its flaws, it is hard to hate the film.  Watching it, you get the distinct impression that Wood and his crew were sincere in their attempt to make a decent film.  Despite lack of financial backing and, admittedly, some lack of talent, Wood made all his films, at least partly, out of love.  Having a genuine admiration for horror and science fiction films, he seemed almost desperate to find his place in those genres.  Watching the Tim Burton biopic Ed Wood only reinforces that feeling.

Plan 9 from Outer Space is also a lot of fun to watch.  Its reputation as the worst film ever is partly due to it being one of the most popular bad movies ever.  The 50’s and 60’s are a treasure trove of B-movies best viewed while sharing sarcastic comments with friends.  None is a better target for this loving ridicule than Plan 9 from Outer Space.

Tor Johnson in an effective shot…completely spoiled by his struggling to get out of the hole.

So, how do you remake such an infamous film?  You can’t make a comedy.  Nothing you can do could possibly be as funny as the unintentional humour of the original.  It is notoriously difficult to intentionally make a bad movie that can capture the entertainment found in mocking the honest but failed efforts of a serious film.

Yes, that’s supposed to be an airplane cockpit. And, yes, that’s the shadow of the boom mic.

The producers of the new Plan 9 went in the only other direction they could.  Their film was made in earnest.  According to the film’s official website, “the remake will be a serious-minded retelling of the original story, paying homage to the spirit of Wood’s film without resorting to camp or parody.”  Resting most of the blame for the original’s failings on budgetary constraints and technological limitations, the goal of the producers was to make a legitimately scary sci-fi/horror film.

I’m not entirely convinced they can pull this off.  Assuming the original Plan 9 from Outer Space could have actually been a good film ignores just how absurd and disjointed the storyline is.  I can’t imagine the budget, special effects, or acting ability that could salvage it.  Even if a good movie can be extracted from the original, most fans will expect camp.  Without their blessing, Plan 9 may not stand a chance.  But, I’m willing to give it a shot.  It can’t be worse than the original…right?

Just promise me he’s not stuck.

Check out the trailer above and see what you think.  The release of Plan 9 begins March 18th with a DVD release in Australia by distributor Monster Pictures.