Doing it Justice: My JLA Dream Cast
You know it’s coming.
According to the Internet, the sequel to the barely-broke-even Superman re-launch that was Man of Steel was fast-tracked, so you know DC is scrambling to catch up to Marvel.
Oh yes, I daresay a JLA film is already in the works.
I may be wrong (I’m rarely wrong), but just for fun, let’s pretend that the upcoming Superman vs. Batman film is in fact merely intended to serve as the launching pad for the long overdue JLA film.
Considering the avoidable issues Man of Steel encountered, I’ve come to the conclusion that from this point forward every upcoming comic book film should require at least one actual nerd to be involved in every aspect of the film-making process, and so, for The JLA project I’m putting myself forward to fill the position. I’ll leave the writing to the pros (don’t worry- I’ll be there to nitpick throughout editing), but while Nolan and co. are busy deciding how to make a lasso of truth more “gritty and real”, I’ll help by contributing my top casting picks:
Superman.
Henry Cavill.
As if anyone else could fill those sizable red boots.
Was Man of Steel a flawed film? Yes, but you know what was perfect? Henry Cavill. Especially those muscles. What ARE those muscles? I didn’t even know those muscles existed until he came sauntering out of the Arctic Ocean without a shirt on.
Also, his hair just naturally has that little Clark Kent curl.
Done.
This is almost easy! Who’s next? Oh.
Batman.
TOO SOON.
You guys, I tried. I really did. Christian Bale’s Batman (and both facets of the Bruce Wayne character) was just so on-point that the mere notion of replacing him with anyone else feels like a worse decision than throwing Catwoman and Talia Al Ghul into the same film.
Too soon. Too. Soon. Let’s just pretend DC did everything right and this actually happened.
I know- I know- it’s Ben Affleck, and honestly, I’m kind of okay with that because it lead to some really funny Tweets about Batman having a Boston accent but I just…I need a minute. Okay? Thank-you.
Wonder Woman.
Gina Carano.
Have you guys SEEN Gina Carano fighting Michelle Rodriguez in the latest Fast and the Furious? Did you see her wipe the floor with Fassbender in Haywire?! Wonder Woman needs to look like she could literally crush your skull with her awesome thighs if she felt so compelled, and I don’t know about you guys, but there is not a doubt in my mind that Gina Carano could kick my ass. Despite this blatant fact, I still want to be her friend. She seems so cool, and if a guy ever were to break your heart she wouldn’t just buy you a tub of ice-cream; she’d kick him through sliding glass doors because that’s what friends are for.
Despite her previous career as a bad-ass MMA fighter, Gina Carano embodies the kind of beauty Adam Hughes’ Wonder Woman represents. Femininity and sensuality paired with strength. She looks strong and she looks beautiful and makes other actresses look like little girls playing dress-up in comparison when she steps out onto the red-carpet.
When a man told Gina Carano that she was “chubby”, her response wasn’t to diet- her goal wasn’t “skinny”, she instead aspired to be as healthy as she could and in the process became an accomplished mixed martial artist (and- I presume- later crushed his skull with her thighs). She’s an incredible role-model, literally capable of breaking the mold Hollywood otherwise whittles its actresses into- and she’s precisely the alternative young women nowadays need to be exposed to.
If they even attempt to fill the role of Wonder Woman with the current Hollywood waif of the moment, I will sever all ties from the world of comics once and for all and begin living my life as a “normal”.
Green Lantern.
Idris Elba.
As far as you and I and DC are concerned, their initial attempt at a Green Lantern film never happened. It. Never. Happened. Just…don’t talk about it.
In order to make a character like Green Lantern translate in an awesome way from page to screen, you require an actor with gravitas. Comedic chops are required for The Flash- not Green Lantern (sorry, Ryan, you tried). Also- forget Hal- John Stewart is WAY cooler. He did, after all, star in The JLA Animated Series.
Not only is Idris Elba incredibly dashing (even Beyoncé once threw down in a fight over him), he’s also an incredible actor. Idris Elba’s Green Lantern could conjure a naked mole rat with his power ring in an effort to vanquish his foes and it would still be one of the manliest things any of us would have ever witnessed.
Just look at him.
His ex-movie-wife said it best when she said- “If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it”- and I think we need to take her advice, because I like it. I like it a lot.
The Flash.
Alan Tudyk.
I, admittedly, struggled with this decision. It came down to either Alan Tudyk, Garrett Hedlund or Patrick Wilson, but in the end I opted for Alan because in order for the JLA film to avoid the “SUPER” serious Man of Steel treatment, some occasional comedic relief will be necessary. Who better to deliver one-liners and witty comebacks than Alan Tudyk?
Also, I’m not speaking to Garrett Hedlund anymore because he could have played the role of Finnick Odair in The Hunger Games but he turned the part down, basically ruining my life.
Martian Manhunter.
Morgan Freeman.
Fact: I Google-searched “Morgan Freeman Martian” and the above photo was my favourite result.
Sure, he’d have to be CGI, but he still needs a voice, and who better to provide a voice for virtually anything than Morgan Freeman? If Morgan Freeman can talk about penguins for two hours I’m confident he can also lend his Godlike voice to the JLA.
With that being said, I hope there’s a scene where Martian Manhunter morphs into Henry Cavill’s Superman and pauses to admire himself in a mirror.
That’s what I would do.
As for the remainder of the JLA, pardon the pun, but Hawkgirl is simply not going to fly. Too far. Too much. You can fly because you’re an alien and/or an Amazon princess? Sure- my willing suspension of disbelief is willing to extend that far. You can fly because you have two giant hawk wings protruding from your back? Nope.
I’d rather skip the explanation/justification and instead see a few members of the JLU join the cast. Say…
Black Canary.
Paula Patton.
Sorry white, blonde actresses, I know roles that you are perfectly capable of successfully playing are so often handed to black women but- oh, no, wait- it’s the other way around. Black Canary doesn’t have to be blonde- she has to be a bad ass- and Paula Patton kicked blonde-actress-butt in Mission Impossible 4.
She’s talented, she’s stunning, and she’s capable of throwing a believable punch. What more could you ask? Besides, if Black Canary is in the film, there’s a chance that one day we might see…
Green Arrow.
Charlie Hunnam.
I admit, Green Arrow/Black Canary: The Wedding Album is one of my favourite graphic novels ever. I love anything and everything Amanda Conner does, and their relationship- albeit tumultuous- is one of the best. You know a love story of some sort is necessary in all of these big budget Hollywood films, and I won’t even entertain the notion of a Superman/Wonder Woman flirtation (Lois Lane is his lady and if you disagree you’re not even “entitled to your own opinion” wrong you’re just wrong). Black Canary and Green Arrow could fulfill that need, while simultaneously serving as the cherry on top of this superhero-sundae.
ETA: I found out AS I WAS EDITING THIS that Charlie Hunnam had just been confirmed to star in Fifty Shades of Grey, and though that is, indeed, terrible, it doesn’t change the fact that he already has the beard. The sexy, sexy beard.
So, there you have it- my dream cast. Would you see my film? Who do you feel compelled to butt heads over?! Please share your own ideas in the Comments section below, or Tweet me @irenadubrovna on Twitter!
I pretty much agree with all your pics, but I have a few thoughts. I like Bale as Batman, but he NEEDS to go to bat-voice camp with Kevin Conroy because Bale’s Bat-voice is nails-on-a-chalkboard terrible!
I like your pick for WW. She’s beautiful and tough, everything WW should be. My first thought was British glamour/nude model Alice Goodwin, but your’s is better.
I have thought of Idris Elba for GL too, but he might be too old. How about Shemar Moore, or Brian White, or maybe Blair Underwood?
The Flash is tricky because it depends on if they’re going with Wally West or Barry Alien. If it’s Wally then yes Alan Tudyk could do it well, but if it’s Barry, which it likely will be, then maybe your other choice, Patrick Wilson would be better, cuz Barry’s not the joke-ster Wally was.
Morgan Freeman is undeniably great, I just don’t think he could bring the “alien” quality to the voice that Carl Lumbly did, so why not just bring him back?
Your pick for Black Canary can actually work because BC isn’t actually blonde, it’s wig she wears. Sure it’s really about as identity concealing as Clark’s glasses, but it is what it is.
And Charlie Hunnam IS Oliver Queen!
Thank-you so much for your comment!
I still love Christian Bale, and personally had no issues with his voice (I thought the only real issue was that he was always too chatty as Batman), but I agree that Kevin Conroy could just voice ever Batman ever whether animated or not. He said my name once, in the Batman voice. It was one of the highlights of my life!
As for Idris- I have to disagree! Too old? I thought only actresses were ever dismissed for that reason 😉 I still think he’d be perfect. I’d prefer a more mature Green Lantern after the initial- failed- attempt.
Though I wouldn’t turn my nose up at the prospect of seeing Patrick Wilson dressed up as a superhero again, I still secretly hope they’ll go with Wally when the time comes. There needs to be some humour in films such as these- they run into serious trouble when they, well, take themselves too seriously!
As for Morgan- I want him to narrate my entire life so I simply cannot concur!
And I actually think Paula Patton should skip the blonde wig. I realize it’s her “disguise” (or at least it was until Dinah actually bleached her hair) but I’m confident in their ability to come up with something a little more believable. Though…considering their track record so far, I’m probably giving them the benefit of the doubt. Either way, I know certain people will be expecting the classic blonde Canary and I don’t think it has to be that way!
And yes! He most definitely is! When I started watching “Sons of Anarchy” I couldn’t put my finger on precisely who he reminded me of until I went to bed that night and spotted my “Wedding Album” graphic novel on my shelf. He’s just so good at shouting!
Sorry, I disagree with several of your choices for the cast. This is my dream collection for the JLA:
Superman: I don’t hate Cavill, but I refuse to see Snyder’s abomination in story. I liked him in the Immortals. I did like Routh as the character; he plays boy scout very well. I think the script was just not up to par. Jared Padalecki also has the physique to play big blue.
Batman: I hate what Bale has done to the character. He is a walking punchline for his voice, period. I just never saw him as Batman and haven’t liked where they took him during Nolan’s franchise. I couldn’t come up with someone that could hit all the points of Batman and Bruce Wayne. However, I think Thomas Jane comes closest. Look at his Frank Castle. I think he could pull it off better than Affleck.
Wonder Woman: I agree with your Gina Carano. I think Charlize Theron would also do it well… with the right script.
Green Lantern: Hal will always be my GL choice. And, Nathan Filion will always be my choice to play Hal.
Flash: It depends on which incarnation they are going with. However, I think Matt Bomer would play it right with just the right enough humor, seriousness, and physique.
Those are the five set in stone… The others have switched through the years between Martian Manhunter, Hawkgirl, Aquaman, and (now) Cyborg. Here are my choices for each of those.
Martian Manhunter: I think there are several people who could pull this off well. Idris Elba would be great at this. Carl Lumbly could do it as well. I also think Vin Diesel could do it to some extent. Djimon Honsou could also do it. The voice is the key point to this character. It has to have gravitas.
Hawkgirl: I think this has to be the more muscle-y girl of the two. I think of Diana as the Beauty Pageant winner with hidden strength (like a goddess). I think of Shiera more of the pit fighter. If we have Charlize be WW, then Gina should be Hawkgirl. Just imagine her swinging the mace and having the more fiery temper!
Aquaman: Since Arrow didn’t start in the JLA, and we want to have Charlie in the movie, make Charlie Hunnam Aquaman. The bearded, harpoon for a hand, Aquaman. Jensen Ackles could pull it off to a lesser extent.
Cyborg: LL Cool J embodies everything that I think of as Cyborg: funny, smart, built. Can’t really think of anyone else in the part.