I’m tired of these mother eff’in sharks in my mother eff’in movies.

I’m really not.

Campy shark movies are like a fine wine.  They are an acquired taste and they require a great amount of cheese.  For instance, can I recommend a ’99 Deep Blue Sea Inspirational Speech Merlot?

Anytime you can incorporate Samuel L. Jackson and sharks, you should drink it in.

SyFy has released a new trailer to follow up its summer success, Sharknado.   Behold the might and wonder that is Avalanche Sharks.  It is the story of a small mountain town hosting an annual “Bikini Ski Day,” when a prehistoric monster wakes up inside the mountain, the snow shark.  There is no release date set.

As a self declared Shark-elier, there are an abundance of riches to choose from.  The important question to ask is: Why do we love them so much?  Why is there a feeding frenzy of fun when a new shark movie is announced?

Because they’re fucking awesome.

If the idea of the side of a mountain is coming at you, and your main concern is to dodge sharks instead of dodging rocks, then I have a Landslide Zinfandel for you.

Movies like Avalanche Sharks and Sharknado are the most sincere kind of movies.  They don’t lie to you, they don’t deceive you, and you know what you’re going to get.   They get right down to the visceral nitty gritty.

You’re going to see people die in hilarious and horrible shark related ways. You just sit back, put your feet up and get a face full of shark.

It is fun for fun’s sake.

As SyFy plans a release date for Avalanche Sharks, get your palate ready.  May I suggest a summer ’13 Man Chainsawing Through Shark Pinot?