Housebound? Try House Hell: TADFF Review

Housebound (2014) – dir. Gerard Johnstone

I gotta say, Housebound has got to be the perfect horror movie for people like me. And by “people like me,” I mean people who don’t like horror movies. What? I don’t like being scared, okay? Leave me alone. Luckily, I’m saved from never experiencing horror films by amazing genre-benders like this one. Because, yes, Housebound is definitely scary (I hid my face and covered my ears more than once) but there are enough dark laughs and hilarious twists to keep me from wanting to cry. Phew.

Never interrupt Coronation Street night.

Housebound starts off normally enough. Kylie (Morgana O’Reilly) is caught after a bungled attempt to rob an ATM (note to self: watch out for speed bumps) and instead of being sent to yet another detention center, she gets sentenced to eight months of house arrest with her mum and stepfather. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Cut off her hands but don’t send her home! Parents, amirite?

Being at home is enough of a drag. Her mum (Rima Te Wiata) gets mad when she eats all the meatloaf (seriously? just make some more or something) and insists on watching Coronation Street on Coronation Street nights (I can’t live under these conditions!), and stepfather Graeme (Ross Harper) is bumbling and has a thing for tap dancing, and Kylie only has dial-up internet. I repeat: dial-up internet. The horror. But it all starts to get strange when the lights start flickering, doors creak open on their own, and a strange hand grabs Kylie’s foot in the basement. Wait, what? Is it a vengeful ghost? Is it Jesus hiding in the basement?

It is definitely NOT Jesus.

Kylie is pretty determined to get the hell outta there (who can blame her) but the keen security bracelet monitoring dude (uh, that’s a very official title–SBMD for short) Amos (Glen-Paul Waru) convinces her to stay. He’s somewhat of a paranormal investigator enthusiast–also a klutz but aren’t we all–and has graciously agreed to take on the Bucknell House case pro-bono. You know, for the betterment of paranormal sciences. Or something. Soon Kylie and Amos find themselves fighting for their lives against something–or someone??????????—and trying to convince everyone that they aren’t completely mental. Oouuuoooooo. *cue scary ghost music*

SHHH. The spirits are trying to speak.

Housebound is a brilliant blend of mystery and ghost antics and the creepiest use of that Motorola ringtone ever. You know the one: Hellooooo Motooooo do-do-do-ba-do-do. Wait, I’ll just link it. HELLO MOTO! I’ve also got to call out the amazing cinematography because the use of light and shadows is absolutely eerie and breathtaking. Simon Riera, you are a master. The production design was freakin’ amazing too. That house! Ugh, bravo Jane Bucknell and team. And the twists keep you wondering about ghosts (do they or don’t they?) until the very end, which goes out with a bang. Literally. Like, boom.

For those of you who failed and didn’t get to see Housebound at Toronto After Dark don’t worry, you’ll have a change to redeem yourselves because it got snatched up for distribution.

Toronto After Dark runs until October 24th. Check out the schedule for more bad-ass genre films that you’ll be sad you missed.