Father’s Day, Part II – The BEST Dads in “Star Trek”
Welcome back to part two of my two-part Star Trek Father’s Day electric boogaloo. Hopefully I didn’t alienate too many of you (get it?) with my picks for the worst dads of Trek, but if I did, you might be gratified to see your picks for best Space Dad in this list. Contrary to the tone of my last entry, upon reflection there’s actually a wealth of great characters who turned out to be excellent dads despite a) not being suited to it, or b) not actually being related by blood to the kids in question. It’s my firmly held opinion that being a dad has entirely nothing to do with being related and everything to do with being a good man, and these five sure fit the bill in my books (I’m taking a bit of license with “father” versus “father figure” but it’s my article, so I get to do what I want). Let’s get started.
5. Neelix
Probably off to…cook something?
I wasn’t originally sold on the Neelix character (to be frank I wasn’t originally sold on Voyager as a whole) but that irritatingly sprightly Talaxian grew on me over the course of the series, perhaps most notably when he stepped into a surrogate father role for his goddaughter Naomi Wildman, one of only two children born on board the ship during their time in the Delta Quadrant. Naomi’s biological father, a Ktarian, was still in the Alpha Quadrant when she was born, so through no fault of his own he wasn’t exactly around to change the diapers. Neelix took to parenting about as well as you’d expect from a man often cited as the most versatile member of the crew. Given Naomi’s half-Ktarian physiology (and the demands of syndicated television) Naomi grew to early childhood very rapidly, and Neelix was there every step of the way. Naomi’s mother, a xenobiologist, was often called away on dangerous missions (pretty standard for the crew of a ship marooned halfway across the galaxy) so Neelix made it his personal mission to fill in for Ensign Wildman and even offered to adopt Naomi legally should the worst happen to her mom. Keep in mind that Neelix wasn’t Starfleet – he wasn’t even from our corner of the galaxy – and he wasn’t related, so he had no obligation to take on any of these additional responsibilities, but he did it with a smile. That’s some good parenting right there.
4. Worf
Parenting: who needs dignity?
Okay, this one is going to raise a few eyebrows, but hear me out. I know Worf isn’t exactly father of the year, but the thing is, Worf knows it too. Let’s look at the history: in short, Worf has some fucked-up ideas about family, considering his dad (who he never met) was branded a traitor for most of his adult life and his brother was forced to kick him out of the Klingon treehouse when Worf basically burned his own honour in effigy to keep the Empire clear of war. So, you could say he’s big on responsibility. Which is why I think it would be unfair of us to look at his decision to send his quarter-human son Alexander to live with his own adoptive parents on Earth as a Q-like pawning off a troubled kid on extended family. Worf knew he was doing a shitty job at the whole parenting thing, and it wasn’t something he could fix (though he made great strides towards doing so). He knew Alexander would have a better life and a better upbringing on Earth with the Rozhenkos, so he made what I can tell you (as a dad myself) was the hardest decision of his life and sent his son away to be raised right. And, when they were both older and wiser, he went on to forge a strong relationship with his son who, at the end of the day, just wanted to be like dad. Some people might call that bad parenting – I call it making champagne out of shit.
3. Rom
Happy ain’t always pretty.
The Ferengi as an idea are at best a really goofy concept and at worst borderline-racist. I love me some Armin Shimmerman, but Quark is nobody’s idea of a good role model – the greed, misogyny and ruthlessness that govern Ferengi life would make a shitty kid out of the most well-adjusted Federation citizen. But there’s usually an exception to these sorts of rules, and the exception in this case is Rom, Quark’s socially-stunted but technically gifted brother and father to erstwhile troublemaker Nog. In the early years of DS9, Rom is seen cow towing to his brother’s every order and as a result his son runs amok, but as time goes on and Rom finds value in himself outside the sphere of his brother’s influence, he starts to take on a more active role in his son’s life. While Rom is constantly torn between the rigid traditionalism of his upbringing (which brought him nothing but pain since he was such a crappy Ferengi) and a desire to grow as a man, ultimately he supports Nog in his endeavours, most notably in becoming the first Ferengi officer in Starfleet (due in no small part to his esteem for his dad, a defacto member of Chief O’Brien’s repair team). Rom wasn’t perfect, but like Worf, he never stopped trying – and that counts for a lot.
2. Jean-Luc Picard
“First thing we’re going to do is lose that sweater.”
Yeah, yeah, I know. The captain is famously horrendously uncomfortable around children and is ostensibly married to his career, but you know something? I think that’s all a lot of hooey. Look at the facts: when he was trapped in the turbolift that time with three schoolchildren, he managed to keep them calm and lead them to safety with no small degree of patience and understanding of a kid’s psychology. What about the time he went home to see his dick brother and encouraged his nephew to follow his dreams and join Starfleet? Hell, in “Generations” we find out his biggest wish basically boils down to Christmas with the wife and kids. And then there’s Wesley. Picard never forgave himself for getting Wesley’s dad killed on that away mission, and while he wasn’t much good with the touchy-feely portions of the father-son dynamic, he certainly had a profound influence on young Mister Crusher, opening doors for him but never failing to keep him on the path towards responsibility, duty, and honesty. Keep in mind, Picard had no real reason to look out for Wesley if you leave aside the early-season implication that he wanted to bang Beverly, which means he took on that role of his own free will because it was the right thing to do, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that he loved that irritating little snot like a son (if you’re reading this, Wil Wheaton, you know I love you man, but you and I both know Wesley was badly-written). But most of all, Picard parented the way he led – by example. That’s laudable.
1. Benjamin Sisko
“Say nice things about me in your book.”
I have a complicated relationship with DS9 – so many good bits, so many dreadful bits – but the one thing I’ll never criticize about that show is its portrayal of a dynamic, realistic, positive father/son relationship. From the first episode we are shown in no uncertain terms that Jake Sisko is the epicentre of his dad’s emotional life – I’m sure part of this has to do with the fact that Jake’s mom was killed following her husband’s career path wherever it took them (including Wolf 359 – yikes), but I get the impression Ben Sisko would have been this kind of father even if Jennifer had lived. He’s constantly having heart-to-hearts with his son, steering him down the right path, bringing down the hammer of discipline when it’s necessary, but ultimately letting his son choose his own way. When Jake decides not to become a Starfleet officer and opts to become a writer instead (a point that hit particularly close to home for yours truly) the elder Sisko supports him unconditionally, even making the tough decision to let Jake stay behind on a Dominion-occupied station. Oh, and can we just talk about a father/son relationship portrayed on TV where the dad hugs and kisses his son, and cries with him? This is definitely the best father/son relationship ever portrayed on Star Trek, and maybe even one of the best in televised science fiction. I said this list was in no particular order, but I’m going to go back on that right now and say Ben Sisko is hands-down the best dad in the Alpha Quadrant, which is high praise coming from a guy who’s routinely derided that show as a poor man’s Babylon 5. Good for you, writers, and you too Avery Brooks – shine on you crazy, ranty diamond.
Honourable mention: Miles O’Brien, who was really tough to leave off this list, but in the end I decided to go with dads who had a meaningful relationship with their adult children – Molly and especially Kirayoshi were too little and had too little screen time for us to get a real picture of how Miles parented, though I have absolutely no reason to believe he and Keiko were anything less than stellar parents (though for my money Keiko takes Parent of the Year award in that relationship).
“Sweetie, have you been watching Star Wars again?”
And that’s it! I hope all you nerds have a happy Father’s Day – I’ll be spending mine building blocks with my son and surreptitiously trying to convince him it’s Star Trek, not Star Wars, that’s the superior franchise. Parenting done right (?) Leave your thoughts below, and if I missed your favourite Trek dad, tell us that too!
