Review: Sucker Punch

Dear Pretentious Film Critics,
Before you get up on your soap boxes and start ripping on Sucker Punch, let me preface this review by saying this movie is not for you. If you have watched even one trailer for this film, you should have known going in that it would be all explosions and hotness. Sorry to disappoint, but if you’re quick, you’ll make it back in time to see the shitty, bassless, 2-man band you were “listening to first”, at some dive bar nobody’s heard of. After all, those cans of PBR won’t ironically drink themselves.

This movie is for nerds. First-person shooting, sci-fi watching, D&D playing, dorks. Do you like pissed off, fire-breathing dragons? How about an onslaught of steampunk Nazi zombies? Sprinkle in some robots and a few samurai titans and you have yourself a recipe for bonerrific goodness.

Close your eyes. Open your mind. You will be unprepared.

Fuck.

Sucker Punch is the 5th feature film from director Zack Snyder, (300, Watchmen) and while his films do not always translate well with “the others”, it never seems derail him from putting out exactly what we, the fans wanna see. I’m always hearing complaints about his over use of slow motion and long takes, but Snyder’s films are no more stylized than that of Tim Burton. These complaints are coming from the same people who did not read Watchmen and then slammed the film.

The story follows Babydoll and her band of mega babes who are planning to escape the clutches of a greasy asylum orderly named Blue. I could go into further detail, but lets be honest, do you even care? All you need to know is this; No shitty acting. No lame stunts. No damsel waiting for some jacked up, knight-in-shining-armor type to rescue her. These chicks are brutal, unflinching, and you believe every second of it.

My only complaint is the rating. Snyder had this to say about it:

“There is about 18 minutes in the Blu-ray that is mostly action, because the MPAA was not … [there was] a little too much action,” he said, adding that taking the film from an R-rating to PG-13 was also a challenge.
“I would say that the very things that they [the MPAA] didn’t like were the very things that you needed to see in order for you to understand the content of the scene,” he said. “To know how to feel about it, because otherwise you’re sort of left in this weird middle ground,” he said. “So it’s difficult. It’s tricky.” – MTV.com

I’m excited to see the uncut version when it hits store shelves, maybe it will make more sense. Not that it matters.

Even if you don’t like it, 2 hours of hot chicks with guns isn’t a bad way to spend an evening.